IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! 3 Things I Learned Through My Quarter Life Crisis!

To my dearest:

It’s MY BIRTHDAYYYY today! Yep, it’s today! A year ago today, I was in Hong Kong struggling through my quarter-life crisis and here I am, a year later, back in New York. It’s been one hell of a year and a bumpy ride. It hasn’t at all been a smooth sailing, but I’m grateful for everything that happened, the obstacles I have to face, and the desire to overcome. I’m still in the process of learning to deal with everything, but I did learn a lot this year, so I wanted to share THREE THINGS I learned through my quarter-life crisis.

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ONE. Stay true to yourself. Don’t let people around you distract you from being you.

Ever been in those situations where you’re in a group and you just don’t fit in because you don’t agree with what they’re saying and/or doing? Well don’t get distracted by their ideas, be above the influence and do not conform. Stay true to who you are and what you believe in.

This was a challenge I had many experiences dealing with. Let’s face it, being a girl isn’t easy. There is just so much gossip going on and cliques – it’s never ending. There is always a desire to try and fit in, and standing ground may be the hardest thing to do when you’re feeling so alone.

An experience I had was when I worked in Hong Kong for a short period of time. I was trying to make friends through the job since I hardly knew anyone in the new city. However, I later found out they all disliked this one girl, because they thought her actions were annoying and pretentious and started ostracizing her. The options were to either comfort her and try to talk to the others about seeing things in a different perspective and be viewed as an outsider or to join the crew and ostracize her. There’s also the third option, to remain neutral and say nothing.

The third option may have been the smartest. However, being me – I felt it was unjust for the girl to be treated that way. So, I ultimately chose the first option and tried to calm the girls down whenever they felt annoyed by her pretentious actions. Did it make the girls dislike me? No, not really. But they knew I was different then them, so of course wouldn’t include me in their little circle. Did I feel alone? Yes. Did I make the right decision? Yes. Ultimately, staying true to yourself is the most important. You can and will find people who will be your friend and accept that side of you.

hello sunshine summer lookROMPER | BAG | BRACELET | HAT

TWO. Let your heart be vulnerable, even if it gets hurt.

C.S Lewis is one of my favorite authors. A particular quote I’m quite fond of is:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change, it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

I’m a sensitive girl and quite dramatic. I give my heart easily and trust just as quick. I admit I’ve been well sheltered, and some may even say I’m naïve – you show me a hint of goodness and I automatically think you’re a good person and we’re on good terms.

The story with the ostracized girl from Hong Kong didn’t end there. After I showed her support, I later found out that she actually bad mouthed me a lot behind my back and she didn’t like me either. At the moment, I did feel hurt and that I did everything in vain. But after I sat back and thought about it, I realized I did not regret it one bit. I showed her love when she most likely needed it most, and I’m hopeful that she felt it and may one day share it. It only takes a spark, to keep the fire going.

embroidered halter maxi dressDRESS | BAG | SHOES (s/o – similar)

THREE. Just, Let It Go.

Oh Elsa, she sings it so so well. I think many parts of the lyrics are quite relatable.

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me, can’t get to me at all.
Let it go, let it go.”

This is still a lesson I’m constantly trying to learn and remind myself of. To be honest, I can be quite stubborn and I’m not the most optimistic person. I complain a lot and am a worry wart, so I’m probably more pessimistic than I am optimistic. I find myself constantly stuck in situations where I feel upset with a situation, someone, or something.

I find that distancing myself from a situation and taking a good look at the whole picture makes me understand more of others actions and why they do what they do. I’m sensitive, so I easily feel hurt in relationships when conflicts arise. Distance allows my brain to process everything, but you know how the heart never agrees with the brain. Learning to let things go and be less stubborn in these situations makes life easier for yourself and others.

There’s much more where that came from, but just sharing bits and pieces today. I don’t know if this is too much for a supposedly, “Happy Birthday” post. However, it just felt right for me because I’ve been going through a slump in many relationships and there has been so much struggle recently, and the past week really was not the best. So I’m really not in the best mood. All of it brought me to do a lot of deep reflection, so I felt I should share as well as remind myself.

I hope I didn’t bum any of you out, but instead provided some positive insight! I’m flying off to Orlando tomorrow, so hopefully things pick up from there and I can just relax and enjoy! Feel free to share your thoughts! I look forward to hearing from you all! Now off to enjoy my birthday! Ta Ta For Now!

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Sincerely Ophelia

Sincerely Ophelia

Hi! It’s Ophelia! I’m just a fun-size petite Asian girl living life in NYC, with a big heart for the love of life. I'm an overshareer of all sorts and enjoy inspiring others. Through this blog, I hope to share my styling ideas, shopping finds, latest trends, and solutions to everything related to fashion and beauty.

For reference, I am 5 feet 2 inches. I typically wear XS/S or 0-4 for apparel and 6.5-7.5 for shoes.
Sincerely Ophelia
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48 Comments

  1. Michelle
    July 31, 2017 / 6:57 AM

    Happy birthday!

    Good life lessons to share- I’m still trying myself, but it’s hard haha.

    It’s so hard to stay true to yourself and still fit in. I especially find it hard to say no…

    Oohhh. How long will you be in Orlando? 🙂

  2. July 31, 2017 / 10:47 AM

    Kill em girl. Happy birthday O.

  3. July 31, 2017 / 12:24 PM

    Happy birthday and nice life lessons! Letting go is the hard one but it makes a huge difference 🙂

  4. July 31, 2017 / 12:31 PM

    Happy Happy Birthday!

    LOVE those shorts and top. What a cute look!

    xoxo Christie

  5. July 31, 2017 / 12:57 PM

    Happy birthday! I’m loving all your outfits!

  6. karmicallyscripted
    July 31, 2017 / 1:05 PM

    Here is something else to consider. Maybe a number 4? Do not apologize for being happy. So many times we find that we feel guilty because we are happy while someone else might be struggling. But it is ok. Of course you should help those who are struggling, if you can. But don’t feel guilty about your happiness. Ever! Sometimes happiness is hard to come by. Enjoy it while it last and be patient for it until it returns.

  7. July 31, 2017 / 1:35 PM

    Happy birthday! Staying vulnerable is so hard to do, especially when people are being hostile toward you but you did the right thing. She may not realise it yet but she will one day. I think she’ll remember what you did for her and pass on the spark 🙂

  8. July 31, 2017 / 4:51 PM

    Happy birthday! Life teaches us lessons every step of the way, doesn’t it?

  9. July 31, 2017 / 4:51 PM

    Happy Birthday to you! Thank you so much for sharing some of the things you have learned in your years, I am with you on staying true to yourself, changing to fit in with what you think you should be, will never let you be happy.

  10. July 31, 2017 / 5:08 PM

    Happy birthday, and thank you so much for sharing this! I especially relate to number 2 because it’s such an ongoing struggle of mine learning to be vulnerable.

  11. July 31, 2017 / 7:20 PM

    Staying true to yourself is definitely great advice. Once you become an adult, staying true to yourself is even easier, I think.

  12. July 31, 2017 / 7:25 PM

    I am sorry to hear that people bad mouthed you behind your back, that is not nice at all. But on a positive note happy birthday and well done for staying true to yourself x

  13. Amber
    July 31, 2017 / 7:35 PM

    Happy Birthday! You look fantastic, as always. And you’ve learned some important lessons.

  14. July 31, 2017 / 10:56 PM

    Happy birthday to you! You have some very lovely outfits picked out. They all look so good on you!

  15. July 31, 2017 / 11:46 PM

    First of all, Happy Birthday!!! I absolutely love the way you write, and I think that your 3 lessons are spot on! I love that quote by C.S. Lewis. “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” It’s so true, but it is so difficult sometimes to put ourselves in that position. I am the same way that you described yourself, and I have been hurt by many, but I’ve also learned a lot too! I’d rather leave me heart open with the chance of experiencing something amazing rather than close it off and miss out on a wonderful opportunity. Thanks for such an inspiring and thoughtful post!

  16. August 1, 2017 / 2:30 AM

    Happy birthday! I love your future-forward thoughts. Always stay true to yourself. Feel free to be who you are, love yourself, and realize your true value. Move forward in life with grace. Enjoy all that life has to offer. 🙂

  17. darlingceo
    August 1, 2017 / 11:24 AM

    Happy birthday! Wisdom certainly comes with age. I find myself feeling more comfortable in my own skin and caring less what others think. Great post!

  18. August 1, 2017 / 12:10 PM

    Happy birthday to you! I hope you had an amazing day & I hope you year is full of success, love & prosperity! I think its great you can learn from the hardship you faced the year before!

    http://www.nmdiaries.com

  19. Anne Yedlin
    August 1, 2017 / 8:42 PM

    Happy Birthday! You look fabulous in all those outfits. We always learn from the roads behind us, keep looking forward to a great future.

  20. August 1, 2017 / 11:13 PM

    Love the first outfit! Happy Belated Birthday!

  21. August 1, 2017 / 11:50 PM

    Happy Belated Birthday, Ophelia! Good life lessons. Ones that I am slowly, but surely, learning too! You are right. The ones that hurt you are often the ones that need your love and forgiveness the most!

  22. August 2, 2017 / 12:10 AM

    Quarter life crisis is normal, and it is good that you reflect on your birthday. Belated Happy Birthday and stay gorgeous as ever.

  23. August 2, 2017 / 8:46 AM

    happy birthday and you look gorgeous

  24. August 2, 2017 / 11:01 AM

    Happy Belated Birthday. I love all of the things you’ve learned especially the 2nd life lesson. You look cute and chic and I really wish I could pull off that outfit.

  25. August 2, 2017 / 5:20 PM

    Happy Birthday Girlie! I’m definitely still learning to let go of things, which is really hard but sometimes totally necessary!
    http://www.allthatjae.com

  26. August 2, 2017 / 5:45 PM

    Happy belated birthday, you look really beautiful. These are some really important life lessons you’ve shared here. No 1 resonates with me the most, people will not always like, appreciate or understand you, but never stop being yourself. I love how you handled the issue of the Hong Kong girl, she may have abused it but you will be rewarded for it. Thanks for sharing this inspirational lessons.

  27. August 2, 2017 / 8:17 PM

    Belated happy birthday! Love #3, just let it go!!! 🙂

  28. August 2, 2017 / 11:20 PM

    Happy Birthday! I am so happy that you pulled life lessons through this all. And Elsa really did have the best life lesson of all in her song!

  29. August 3, 2017 / 3:02 AM

    Happy birthday girl! Hope you had a blast! PS – that last dress is GORGEOUS on you 🙂

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

  30. August 3, 2017 / 10:24 AM

    Happy Birthday! Really love all your outfits, as always!

  31. August 3, 2017 / 3:31 PM

    Happy birthday! It sounds like you learned some invaluable lessons! So important to stay true to yourself – too easy to lose sight of who you are and your goals when others cloud your vision!

  32. August 3, 2017 / 10:36 PM

    I remember going through the quarter life crisis as well and reading a whole book about it. I actually wanted to write a book about it before I stumbled across the book. Man, did I think that I had the best idea ever! HA! “Let it go” is one that I still try to live by. I have learned that it is life experiences that help you get through this crisis. I learned to try not to control everything and plan to be surprised in life.
    Thanks for sharing! Happy Birthday!

  33. August 3, 2017 / 10:40 PM

    Happy to here that you got out of that funk of yours.

  34. August 4, 2017 / 12:44 AM

    Happy birthday. I hope you had an amazing one. Love all the shoes.

  35. August 4, 2017 / 6:15 AM

    Great lessons to learn…especially #1!

  36. Nathanielle
    August 4, 2017 / 2:59 PM

    Happy birthday. These are great life lessons

  37. August 4, 2017 / 6:41 PM

    Happy BIRTHDAY! I’m loving all of these outfits, but that black dress is amazing

  38. Aarika
    August 7, 2017 / 4:01 PM

    Thanks for sharing these insightful life lessons. Happy birthday! Staying true to one’s self is such an empowering lesson. Cheers!

  39. August 10, 2017 / 8:16 AM

    Many many happy returns of the special day! You picked out lovely outfits. They all look so good on you. Enjoy all the life like this way. Thank you so much for sharing awesome post.

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